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Mon. Jun 17th, 2024

Hobbying is not easy, stories from BNA, swimming in pools and sharks!

By meerna Jun12,2024

Why am I doing this to myself? It’s currently 4 a.m. and I’m sitting at the gate at the airport in Nashville.

Every time I take one of these dawn flights I tell myself, “never again.” But when it comes time to book, I check Southwest prices and decide that a 5 a.m. flight sounds a lot better than paying an extra $300 to fly out later that day. So I give it up and schedule an Uber ride at 3am.

Usually at this time the airport is a ghost town – even the cafes aren’t open yet. But today it’s different. I arrived at the unloading point (three hours before sunrise) and there were already queues forming at the ticket offices.

What is going on here?

Then I spotted a woman wearing shiny silver cowboy boots over sweatpants and it hit me: It was the Monday after CMA Fest.

The moment I entered the airport, I could smell the alcohol seeping through everyone’s pores. I overheard the lady on the security line saying she wasn’t sleeping – I just took an Uber straight from Broadway after the bars closed.

Master.

I am currently waiting to board a flight to Baltimore (where I will catch a connecting flight). I’m surrounded by rhinestones, fresh country music star merchandise, cowboy hats and pink boots and I’m told it’s a full flight. If one of these hungover (or still drunk) tourists vomits on me at 10,000 feet, I’m going to have a really rough start to my vacation.

Oh yes…holidays! I’m going to Myrtle Beach to spend some family time with my parents and some cousins. And if you are South Park Fan, you know what’s going on in Myrtle Beach…

I have no intention of spending the entire night with Mr. Garrison. But by the time you read this on Tuesday afternoon, I’m going to drink a lot of vodka with my ass firmly planted in the sand. By the time I get home on Sunday, I’ll look like all the zombies currently half asleep in the airport around me.

Just without the shiny shoes.

Join me – spiritually. Combine something alcoholic with something tropical and let’s get started. It’s time for evening drinks!

What’s going on with all these sharks?

One thing I don’t want to see on vacation is a shark. But apparently they’ve been a real problem lately.

Over the weekend, three people were injured in two shark attacks on two Florida beaches. Truly terrifying stuff, multiple limbs have been amputated and the teenager’s condition is critical. And while I’m certainly no shark expert, these attacks are apparently very rare in this area.

“This is an anomaly … everything from the three victims to where he is,” Walton County Sheriff Michael A. Adkinson Jr. said. he said. “We know we share water with sharks. As tragic as this is, we know there are always sharks in the water.”

The sheriff added that the last shark attack in the county occurred in 2021 and the last shark fatality occurred in 2005.

But something must have angered the sharks. Social media has been flooded with videos of beggars showing dozens of these predators cruising the waters.

It’s certainly a reminder that we risk our lives every time we swim in a shark house. But for once, I’m quite happy that I’m not on the Florida Gulf Coast right now.

Wait…

Looks like I’ll be using the hotel pool. Speaking of swimming pools…

Tell me if you think it’s disgusting

A Colorado woman has gone viral after she posted on Instagram suggesting she takes her children swimming in the summer instead of bathing them. Neely Gracey, a 34-year-old mother of two, has taken a lot of grief from people who, rightly, find it completely disgusting.

“Happy ‘pool counts as bathing’ season to everyone who participates,” she wrote, adding, “Please tell me I’m not the only mom celebrating.”

And judging by the comments, he may be the only one celebrating.

Nah, man. A day at the pool DEFINITELY means a swim night for my kids. So gross, chemicals, sunscreen, sweat, pee, salt, etc.

I never want to shower harder than after a long day at the pool or beach.

Oh, that’s nasty. This may be worse than people who only bathe their children once a week.

Or like that weirdo who only showers once a week because… it takes too long? She must be REALLY busy.

Anyway, as a rule, I stick to my lane and don’t judge parenting. But I have to agree with the commentators here. And experts do it too.

Scientists from cosmetics company Clarins recently conducted a study on the harmful effects of harsh chemicals such as chlorine on the skin.

“It can strip natural oils from the skin, potentially promoting premature aging. Washing skin with chlorinated water may disrupt the skin’s natural flora, leading to skin diseases such as acne,” the study concluded. “Long-term exposure to this chemical can also cause skin irritation and itching.”

Yes, yes… dry skin, chemical irritations, blah, blah. It’s not even a problem. The problem is swimming the pools are terrible.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not much of a rocker to throw a cannonball into a public swimming pool. But I also know that by doing so, I am soaking up other people’s dirt, sweat, and sunscreen. Moreover, small children and drunk people pee in them. This chlorine can only work So hard, you know?

Please bathe your children. And myself, the nasty animal.

The Horsesin’ hobby is not easy

So if you think so, you better check it out for yourself!

By the way, a hobby horse is a stick horse. Remember those things we used to run around the house with as kids – knocking over everything on the coffee table as we walked by, pretending to be the Lone Ranger?

Apparently there are adults who still have fun with this stuff and take it very seriously. They even have full choreographed programs and competitions. You can call them morons, but I’ll be nice and just consider them riders on a budget.

So there is one jockey named Anna whose mission is to legitimize the sport of hobby riding. Because it’s serious work, OK?! In a recent TikTok video, the 16-year-old shows her haters how difficult jumping on a broom is.

“Hobbyhorsing is not a sport, it is easy and anyone can do it”… Oh yes? Anna sarcastically asks in the caption.

The 37-second video then shows a very flushed Anna coughing violently and hyperventilating on the gym floor while other athletes jump hurdles in the background.

I saw this and wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I really did it. I thought, “Man, maybe this is just an unconventional workout, like those middle-aged ladies who jump on mini trampolines or dance on spin bikes.”

So I watched another of Anna’s films and well…

I think it’s more a question of our sweet little Anna’s stamina than a hobby horse thing.

But it’s good! Because he’s having fun and doing what he loves. And her TikTok video had 49 MILLION views, so maybe she made some money.

But I want more than just influential hobby horses. I want a whole hobby horse derby! Imagine… we all put on fascinators, silly dresses and suits and go to watch a group of grown adults racing towards the finish line on stick horses, placing bets and drinking mint juices!

Scratch the mint juleps. This calls for straight bourbon.

Actually, you know what this whole non-riding thing reminds me of? Dave Wills. This is a guy who gained huge popularity centuries ago because he was very emotional about the importance of professional wrestling.

Hobby horse riding… It’s still real to me, damn it!

Fun fact: Four years ago, I was attending wrestling legend Jerry Lawler’s 50th anniversary party when a guy walked past me wearing a T-shirt that said, “It’s still real to me, damn it.” My husband and I had one Just I was talking about this video a few days earlier, so I took a photo and sent it to him.

I said, “Hahaha, look at this guy’s shirt.”

My husband said, “Amber… THIS IS THAT GUY!”

I was blown away. Sometimes legends walk among us – in an amateur wrestling competition on a minor league field in Jaskson, Tennessee – and we don’t even know it.

Kid Rock and Jon Daly were also there.

As for the women’s explanations…

Since I’m on vacation this week, so is Womansplaining. Unfortunately, you’ll have to find another way to occupy your Wednesday lunch break.

Perhaps read it last week’s column or just scroll archives? Or Text me your thoughts, complaints, questions and stories for a future issue.

Please do not cry. Miss you too.

Things that made me LOL

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column appearing Monday through Friday at 4 p.m

Follow me on X/Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or write to me at: [email protected].

By meerna

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